It’s true. I’m an author. Over the past 12 months, I put a lot of words together based on my experience as a stepmom to be read by other stepparents looking for support.
Why write a book?
Why did I decide to write a book? That’s an excellent question.
The answer is that I think my experience and ideas about stepparenting are valuable and helpful to people who are trying to make a go of being a stepparent.
What’s Your book about, Amy?
Great question. Thanks for asking.
The book is a collection of 10 essays that are about the lessons that I think I learned over the 20 years that I have been a stepmom. Will your experiences be the same as mine? Probably not completely but I have a feeling that enough will be alike that reading it will be worth your time.
What makes your book different?
I have read a lot of books about stepparenting and to be really direct … they can be really discouraging.
I wanted to share the stories from my life in a way that would be relatable and encouraging. By a stepparent for stepparents.
I’m not a therapist, a social worker, or a counselor. I’m a stepparent who figured out a way to make my life work for me.
Also … if it matters to you this is secular. I am not a minister. My stories are not faith-based. I’ve read more than one book that could be summarized as, “Just stay married because religion tells us to.” I don’t find that helpful.
Also, I’ve got TWENTY years under my belt. Young kids to adult stepkids…from preschool to college, and beyond. There are a lot of coaches and mentors who are a few years into their stepfamily journey who are online offering advice…I’m sure it’s okay but there is a difference in how I feel today versus 15 years ago and I think what I have to offer now is much more helpful (less angry…better informed).
It’s not academic theory
This is not a memoir that starts with my marriage and bores you all the way through to my current status. I mean … honestly, who would want to read that?
But these are things that I really did in my actual life. (Fact checked by my husband, who was also there all these years.) I’m not a person who sat in a classroom earning a degree on children or family development. I am just a person who jumped into the deep end of being a part of a stepfamily … or a blended family and then hustled her heart out to try and figure it out.
So it’s not theory, it’s not complex stuff. Okay well some of the situations could be described as complicated because blended families ARE complicated.
The good, the bad and the UGLY
One of the first reviews of the book came back with a suggestion that I shouldn’t share some of the ugly stuff in my story. I share it anyway. Not because I’m an exhibitionist who enjoys having my mistakes on display but because that’s some. of the most important stuff I can offer to others.
In fact, here is an interesting thing I’d like to share. The process of writing this book was transformative for me. Dissecting these events and examining them carefully so that they could be shared forced me. to ask myself over and over again, “why did I do that?”